I did not get what I wanted. After graduating from a good school and applying to so many jobs, I ended up in a job in which I did not find the least bit of interacting or up to what I deserved. That time, I felt, as if why did I even take the pain in my high school to so much if I had to eventually end up in a dig.
This is what most of us think when we end up somewhere, we did not at all wanted to or probably see ourselves going forward in our lives.
Nevertheless, I was depressed and anxious. Thinking about the future. Whether I will be getting to a place where I wanted to.
What will the future hold in for me? Currently, I am dreading to go to my job every day but I have bills to pay, student loans to pay off and so much more that I cannot skip anything.
In all these times, what helped me was maintaining a journal. I used to write everything down. How was I feeling? What did I achieve today? What made me sad or what can I do to not let other’s words put my morale down.
Little did I knew that maintaining a journal was the main key to all my problems. Writing stuff and everyday experiences, helped me to see how much have I grown. Not only from my school life but also in my career.
I read somewhere that writing a journal sometimes help almost as taking therapy.
Of course, the two can’t be compared but the act of just venting things out and having a feeling that someone or something is listening to you decreases the tension and pressure emulating in your mind.
Following a similar path, I took an old brown leather-covered journal that was gifted to me by my cousin on my 20th birthday stating that I would need this in my life. I didn’t get the intensity at that time but now I thank my cousin for that small act.
Writing every day became a habit. Not only did it improve the way I write, but I became a storyteller in general.
From my failures to successes. From small things that I achieved to places where I made a mistake, all of it.
In the beginning, I didn’t see any change. I just used to write at the end of the day because that is what was my pill for releasing an unnerving tension that I used to carry from my workplace back home.
I also at some point decided to give up writing because I felt that no one’s listening to me and I couldn’t see a single change in my life.
With this feeling, I just had an epiphany and decided to go back to my first journal entry. Just to read where I was and where am I now. Am I still miserable cause I felt so? Has there been any change?
But there was. In our day to day struggles to let life going on, we do not realize how far we have come.
We do not feel there has been any substantial change as we only focus on what is going on today. We forget to look at the bigger picture and that is what my journal showed me.
‘The bigger picture’. Not only had I grown in my role but I had developed a humongous amount of confidence.
From being a person who just used to let a squeak out to guide people on how can we manage our tasks and other people. From just sitting at my home going through social media and reading books to going out and making friends out of work and networking.
From only focusing on my daily 9 to 5 work to helping various non-profit organizations scale up their business, I had come a long path and there was so much more to come.
I felt proud of myself and here I didn’t need anyone’s accreditation to tell me so cause my journal was enough to do the same.